I am just a dreamer, with a timid history

Tonight was one of those nights where I could've driven off into the dark until I ran into the sunrise, only I couldn't, because in only five miles came the stop light, and my turn to the neighborhood, and the driveway. I'm feeling melancholy again, if you can't tell. God's doing something in my life. I don't know what else to say. So many circumstances and oddities. It's God, most definitely. First came the book, "The Dream Giver", from my pastor's family for graduation, then the verses in my Bible study, and now the sermon at church today. It all goes hand in hand. God is showing me something, and while I can't make out what it is yet, it's awesome. I just have this feeling that I'm on the brink of something, that I'm on the edge, that I'm about to break through to something completely and totally beyond me, I just have to take the step. But all of the sudden walking seems difficult, and I'm teetering and tottering, like I'm about to lose my balance. "Have faith, take courage" are words going through my head right now. I want to. I really want to. Mediocrity is something I'm longing to escape. I really want to live my faith, not just go to church and Cru and set it aside until I need it again. That's no way to live. It's awful. I can't fall into that. I can't. But leaving Mediocrity means entering Unknown. And I'm so excited about going there. I just have to take that step. Just one step. Even if I can't see where I'm going. Amy